I’m a very proud Daddy who is very involved with his children and I believe myself to be a very caring husband. In our home I’m definitely ‘the man of the house’. Meanwhile, my wife often giggles when I do something ‘girly’ and says “You’re such a girl”. In all honesty, I’m not offended at all, because many times she’s right.
Now, before people start getting uppity about ‘gender roles’, hear me out. While my wife and I generally follow the “Fuck it! – be how you want to be” approach to all things, we understand that in previous generations there were very clearly defined roles for men and women. With our children we want them to understand the concept of different traditional roles but want them to be whoever they are. I do give my son the “my job is to teach you to grow to be a good responsible MAN speech”. However, this speech simply tells him to always be honest, to always take responsibility for his own actions, and to try and help others when possible. We give the daughter the same speech but for her it’s how to be a lady.
So, first I’ll tell you the latest instance of “you’re such a girl”. Last year, before winter, the wife and I were going through the closets to put away clothes that we wouldn’t need for the winter. She was also gathering clothes to donate. However, I kept telling her, no keep that, because one day I’ll be able to wear them again (some of them I couldn’t even get above my hips). This is when she told me about ‘skinny clothes’ while giggling and saying “wow, you’re such a girl” – to which I hid my laugh and said, “shut-up (while smiling) and just put it in the bucket”. CUT FORWARD TO THIS PAST WEEKEND After working out during the day the wife mentioned, hey you should look through that bucket and see if any of those clothes fit. I was sure they would fit better, but I didn’t think they would fit. I tried them on – WTF – it made it up my legs pretty easy – WTFFF!!! It made it over my hips!!! Okay, get ready, prepare to suck in, prepare to … wtf? the button popped right on… WHILE I WAS BREATHING! I actually unbuttoned the first pair and re-buttoned them because I didn’t believe it.
Have you ever seen the movie “The Long Kiss Goodnight” where Geena Davis (whose character was suffering from amnesia) thought she may have previously been a butcher and starts yelling for more stuff to cut???
That was me with this bucket of clothes 🙂
One pair of shorts were previously so tight that it felt hard to breathe in them. However, I liked the way they looked so I did it anyway (I know). I had to quit wearing them when the button on them literally launched off while attempting to sit down one day on the metro. When I say launched, I mean that I went to sit down and I heard the button pop like a cap gun and the button propelled away from me fast enough that I couldn’t track it. I only found half of the button because the person to whom the button impacted handed it back to me – was hoping nobody else noticed. The other half is lost forever. My loving wife did not laugh and later attached a new and more securely fastened button – but at that point she was able to fix them I could no longer get the shorts over my hips. But again, I love how they looked so they went to the skinny pile. Not only do they now fit, I don’t even have to prepare to begin the formal buttoning procedure checklist. I just put my pants on – and I even need a belt to keep them up!!!
I was trying to total everything up and the wife started saying X number of pants and I said, no those are jeans, those are khaki — “you’re such a girl” – LOL.
6 pairs of blue jeans (2 of them black jean – which I love)
1 x Jean shorts (don’t judge)
2 x Cargo shorts
1 x Plaid shorts
READY FOR SUMMER!
Other things that bring out “you’re such a girl”
I love girly movies. The wife prefers action movies, the less plot, the more explosions, the better. I prefer the girly movies with many intersecting plot lines. I still can’t watch “Pay it Forward” or “Steel Magnolias” (the Sally Field Graveyard Scene) without crying. It just takes a lot to make a girly movie because women in general won’t accept a movie unless the story line has some plausibility. Even when watching superhero movies, I can’t accept it unless it seems feasible. For example, assuming the spider mutation could cause Peter Parker to get those crazy reflexes, then the scenes where he was learning his powers would make sense. However, the idea of removing space between atoms could result in some shrinking, sure, okay. However, shrinking down complex biological organisms PAST the size of sub atomic particles – sorry Ant-Man. The movie was entertaining, but the basics were too flawed.
I haven’t had much experiencing in choosing good fashion options for myself, but I’m really good at dressing women. The only problem is, when I’m in that mode, I’m brutally honest. Thank God, my wife understands this and doesn’t take it personally. I’ll take her out shopping and I’ll say, no this looks good, she’ll doubt me and I’ll tell her no, you’re wrong, this looks good, and then the sales ladies are at first surprised and then agree with me. I just know what I like to see on women – and when the bad choices make them look frumpy. My wife tells the sales lady that I’m her best non-gay gay friend and husband in one.
How many wives out there would love it if their husband would watch AND ENJOY girly movies with them? How many would love to have their husband be helpful in the mall?
There are many other things I do that bring out that “such a girl” statement, and I’m fine with that. I’m definitely a unique person and I’m very grateful that my wife appreciates those things about me.
— Last thing, I hit below the 250 lb mark again, so it’s no longer just ‘my peak’ weight.